Lost in the hope for a future

unique physique
beautiful creature, strong like a tree
and like a good teacher, intelligently free

he'll hold your hand as you walk, call just to talk
make you feel like that floating seed of a dandelion
not sure where you're flying
but comforted to know that you'll land
on the earth of his rock

he'll fill you with thought and emotions
discovering new notions, like
"maybe i'm wrong, and maybe he's right"
he'll make you fly like a kite
as he holds your string tight
and you'll fall into his arms
knowing you're safe
no bells or alarms

yes, a concept new to you is a man who is true
a man who deserves a woman like me
who will set her fears free
and proudly hold tight to his true hearts key

a concept you can't understand
'cause you speak with you hand
and kiss with your fist
embrace with your hate

with your smiling fangs you penetrate, me
infiltrate, me
desecrate, me
can't resurrect, me
or liberate, me
just frustrate, me
you hold me down

a good man won't start a fight just to prove that he's right
but he'll think things through and present them to you
and i'll listen to him, 'cause he's a man through-and-through
and you wonder why i never listened to you

always wet from your sweat and soaked in my tears
wanting to forget 'til the fog of this nightmare clears


wishing one day you will see how you destroy me
but knowing deep inside i need to run
run fast and never turn back
take all my shit and show you my back

praying
our father why art in heaven
while i call thy name
why won't you come
and free me from
this pain you have forgotten
save me today before i am dead
and fogive me his trespasses
as i forgive hate that has trespassed against us
lead me into salvation
and deliver me from his evil
his addictive poison
my own needle
so feeble
amen

not recognizing my own sick reflection
pale and cold like a dead mans complexion
i set on foot in any direction, but yours

still you come home at four, slamming the door
crawl into bed, smelling like liquor
kissing my neck, making me sicker

i close my eyes tight and i try not to fight
hoping you'll get dizzy and stop tryin'
hoping you won't see that lyin'
see that i'm cryin
feel my soul dyin

again you smack me awake and spit in my face
color my skin, killing me from within
beating me 'til my vision fades out
sealing my mouth so i won't scream and shout

no
you are not a man
you're a virus, disease
you're the sickness in me
and though you continue to breathe my air
you are dead to me
apart from me
in debt to me

so while i wish i could say that i wish you the best
that i hope you can find a woman who can handle the threats
and bare with the stress
deal with the beatings
still love you while bleeding
i don't

i wish nothing for you, but only myself
that i find that one that will care for my health

both physically
and mentally

i'll wash the stains from my soul and finally be whole
complete to love and be loved
because for him, i will survive
and i will strive to provide
all that a true man
and woman
deserve

a good start

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. ~Marianne Williamson